Mutant X: Because 2001 was such a great year...
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| The Campiest Live Action Marvel Ripoff Since the 1970's |
Pilot Synopsis:
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| "No, really, I'm the SERIOUS actor here!" |
Shalimar (the smug one with the all the crane stunts) and
Mondo Jesse rescue
Jean Grey Emma from a kidnapping attempt by some G-men. They take her back to the
Xavier Mansion Mutant X headquarters, in a laughably rendered stealth jet (I think they blew their digital budget on erasing the ropes from Shalimar's Crouching Tiger antics, at which they failed), where they explain in very special ligation-proof language that Mutant X is a group of people with special abilities.
Professor X Lex Luthor (less known as actor John Shea) talks Emma out of her shirt, into binding her breasts in ace bandages, and sitting in some sort of diagnostics dental chair despite her insistence that she doesn't have any
mutant new mutant powers. Emma ditches Mutant X the first chance she gets in order to pick up a man at a bar, who, convieniently, is also a mutant who is also being hunted by the same sinister G-men, who are run by evil Andy Warhol. Emma's new friend, abhorrently named "Brennan", is a bad-boy hero archetype, so from now on we'll call him Broverine. Emma winces her powers at him to let him know he's in danger, capping off both ends of the episode with a three-minute fight scene, and then I think Evil Andy Warhol is going to kill Lex Luthor asap so poor John Shea, who is really trying here, can legetimize himself as an actor by starring in a few plays.
Pressing questions: Will I be able to endure an entire "Shalimar backstory" episode? Will Emma grow a spine and become less cloying? Is it me or does the fact that Evil Andy Warhol blames Lex Luthor for his immune issues bear tremendous HIV/AIDS subtext?
Also: Why do mutant powers always come with martial arts training?
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