Notes from the Bell Jar

Justifying my experience of November with a pastiche, which is French for, "Okay kids, shut up and come to the table: I've heated up leftovers."

Seriously, dude, you are IN the bell jar.

*Rewatched Reality Bites and found the heretofore unremembered pleasure of Janeane Garofolo verbally bitch-slapping a low-down Winona Ryder out of her misery (see phtograph).

*Gave up on Tru Calling, despite earnest promises to hang in there for more running scenes. Not even my latent crush on old track buddies can save you, sweet Eliza Dushku. Femmebot waits for no man, and if we did, it would not be Jason Priestly.

*Harry Potter 7: This is the One Where he Dies, Right?! party at my house.

*[Post-Election] Tried to watch Red Planet twice in two days but my attention slid off. A movie can actually repel me, even if it has the enchanting Val Kilmer. My problem is that Simon Baker is too shiny. Handsome in a sort of Aryan way that creeps me out. He looks like a cross between a Ken doll and Senator-incumbent Rand Paul [may he and his face-stepping henchmen rot in a quiet hell of their own making]. Also, there was Carrie-Anne Moss (pale lady from the Matrix) in a box. Talking to a computer. And she also wants to have sex with Val Kilmer. And also there is a robot who Val Kilmer flirts with and it tries to kill them (?) and that part was not in Heinlein's novel Red Planet, about which I mainly remember that martians are a sort of really annoying Buddhist and the protagonist spent a night in a giant cabbage.

*I wrote a three-page epic poem/feminist treatise about the making of Alien, its symbolism, and biological horror. It's about things like slime and Geiger and why, even though the part was written for a man, Weaver still had to do a little striptease at the end. So that happened.

*Last night I half-watched GI Jane. It's ok, but I think it really can't do better than "Suck my dick!" and should just stop there. Who cares what Senator Rita Moreno did? Not me.

*Soon I will give my pretty much unedited notes from watching 2010's Predators. Spoiler alert: I really don't know a thing about guns, but I've never seen such an eclectic mixture of automatics and handguns and such that work perfectly after complete immersion.



And thus spake November.