This movie is probably racist, sexist, and homophobic. And I'm gonna talk about it, even though it's not remotely current.

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Friday, October 19, 2012

Heroic Trio/The Executioners

A short trip to Hong Kong because my friend has Netflix, and we both love Michelle Yeoh.

The Heroic Trio (1993)

We are talking so many shaken babies. Like 30 minimum.

This fabulous Hong Kong action/superhero/martial arts/gun fights movie should be pre-empted by a PSA about how newborns don't have necks and can't withstand excessive impact (and maybe set them down before you fire an automatic with your free hand, for the eardrum factor?).

Everybody's stealing babies from the submarine dystopic baby room. Michelle Yeoh is in love with a man dying of radiation but serves many masters. She is so consistently convincing about such weird shit. There are some sisters, a tape recording that is never listened to, a super cop married to a way cooler superhero whose name translates to Wonder Woman (no relation), and a renegade derby girl named Thief Catcher. Other than that, all you need to know is babies are flying around, there are some fascinating stunts/fights/special effects/really colorful gels on over the lights, and the 1990's were awesome.

The Executioners (1993)

You thought the sunless battleship-interior baby ward was bleak? Nuclear war has come and nobody gets to have water. Wonder Woman can't rescue her own husband because she has to be a good mom. The Heroic Trio that bathes together, stays together. Quoth The Venture Brothers: "The president isn't the real president anyway." The world is in trouble? Give me eleven days to form a mask in my cell and I will get right on that. There was a bad guy, or something, but he exploded. Everything's going to be ok, even though Michelle Yeoh died. Thief Catcher triumphantly produces a fish from her bra.

1 comment:

  1. I'm still sort of reeling from The Executioners. I didn't expect... any of it.


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